


The Talk

by MSpataro210



Series: Season 11 Inspired [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Dreams, Dean gets some confidence, Dean parents, Drinking, Impromptu therapy and parenting, Jody gets some practice, Late-night talks, M/M, that's not from the bottle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 14:01:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5931013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MSpataro210/pseuds/MSpataro210
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's still reeling from realizing something about himself after the Banshee hunt.  He's been keeping it under pretty good wraps for the most part, especially while visiting Jody and the girls.  But someone just had to catch him while trying to drown out his thoughts with the closest, cheapest liquor.  But maybe, that's a good thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Talk

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I hope you enjoy! I don't know if this flowed nicely because I wrote most of this over two nights past midnight and I was really tired, but I did review it and it seemed good to me... just not sure. But then again I'm like the worst when it comes to reviewing, but also the best at doubting myself.
> 
> Anyway enjoy!

“ _But even there I feel like I should be teaching her about boyfriends and relationships, ya know. Stuff a mom would teach her.”_

_“Sammy and I could have benefited from a little of that.”_

            The bottle is nice and cool against his palm, condensation dripping down to meet his skin. Dean was lucky to find any beer in the house at all. He really needed a drink, but was not so much of an alcoholic as to grab one of Jody’s wine bottles and finish it himself.

            ‘ _I have some class…_ ’

            “I thought I hid those pretty well.”

            Dean turns to see Jody, leaning against the open door, her crutches clutched between her armpits.

            “Not your fault,” Dean smiles, “Winchesters were born with the ability to find booze. We’re like divining rods for the stuff.”

            “Sounds… _supernatural_ ,” Jody hobbles over, “maybe I should be ganking you.”

            “I wish,” Dean scoffs under his breath, bringing the bottle back to his lips for another sip.

            Jody leans her crutches against a railing and stations herself next to Dean, “Got one for me?”

            Dean looks to his side. “I don’t know,” he hums, “I figured I needed three to get to bed, and I’ve only finished one…”

            Jody punches his arm, “Give it, the pain meds are starting to wear off and I need the tried and true method of numb.”

            “Then it’ll be my pleasure,” Dean hands her the bottle, “from one master to another.”

            “I’ll drink to that,” Jody raises her bottle. She puts it near her lips, only to lower it again to speak instead. “But,” she continues, “what are you drinking to?”

            Dean’s bottle stills, the neck still trapped between his fingers, and his lips gripping the opening. Thoughts race inside, of words and feelings and a pair of blue eyes that haunt him. Slowly, he lowers it.

            “I’m drinking to alcohol,” he shrugs “do I need a better reason?”

            “You don’t if you’re an alcoholic.”

            Dean smiles, “Come on Jody, you know me better than to question that.”

            “You’re right,” Jody sighs, “which is why I’ve given up trying to convince you to go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.”

            Dean sighs, ducking his head and scrubbing it with his free hand. The bottle returns to his mouth for a quick kiss, before being laid to rest next to its brother. That hand now scratches near the side of his face.

            Jody’s hand reaches out to touch Dean’s shoulder. He looks up, and for a second sees something else – _someone_ else. But just as soon as the vision comes, it fades. Jody’s eyes return to their usual shade of brown, her brunette hair tapered down and her cheekbones smooth.

            “Come on, Dean,” Jody whispers, “no judgment. Besides, I need the experience.”

            Dean weighs the proposal. The offer is tempting, like a siren call. But there’s still a tiny voice inside his head, nagging at him to drown himself in a vat of Jack Daniel’s and never resurface.

            But lately he’s found himself moving away from alcohol and towards people whenever he’s faced with a problem.

            That’s why he isn’t surprised when he turns towards Jody and not towards the nearest bar.

            “Well,” he starts, “I’ve just got a lot of things on my mind, is all.”

            “Let me guess,” Jody laughs, “school… peer pressure… scared that the boy you like isn’t going to ask you to the dance?”

            Dean chuckles along with her before stopping. He licks his lips before looking down at the ground, away from Jody.

            “Well… something like that.”

            Jody splutters. Beer dribbles down her lips. She drops the half-full bottle to wipe away the excess drink while Dean only darkens. He’s still looking down and away as Jody casts a wide eye at her friend.

            “Care to…” Jody fumbles, “elaborate?”

            “Well,” Dean coughs, “I-uh, I may have come to a… realization of sorts.”

            He stops, the words too scared to jump off the springboard of his tongue. There seems to be a huge boulder, stuck in the middle of his throat. But then he takes a glance back at Jody and feels the rock start to crumble. Looks at the way she leans, trying to look comforting for him even when he can see the pained twitch of her lips. How her eyes have softened, even if they are winced.

            She shouldn’t have to do this for him, but she does. The least he can do is offer up a few words.

            “I’ve just been, y’know, thinking,” Dean rasps, “about certain… _feelings_ , that I have. That I’ve always had, in a way, but didn’t realize or was just… too scared to realize and-“ He rubs a fist to his eye, “Jesus, and I feel like my heart is going to be jumping out of my chest one moment and in the next dropping down to my stomach and I just don’t know what to do.”

            “It sounds simple enough,” Jody says, “but then again, nothing’s ever easy with people like us.”

            Dean barks out a dry laugh.

            “You’re right,” he tells her, “I mean, I feel like I’m in this weird state. Every time I work up the nerve to maybe do something about it my mind starts to list all the ways it could go wrong, all the reasons I don’t deserve- and… and I… I don’t want to lose him.” His voice starts to give out, “It seems like every time I tell someone I love them they’re either in for a world of hurt or death and-and I don’t want that. I don’t want that for him, and I don’t want that for me. I don’t want to have to go through that again.”

            Tiny drops fall onto the wood of the balcony, and Dean considers the chance of rain. Even if the weatherman said clear skies until the weekend.

            “Dean…” Jody returns her hand to his shoulder, “You said ‘him’?”

            Dean snorts.

            “Yeah,” he shakes his head, “another layer to this fucked up cake I call ‘my life’.”

            Jody’s mouth goes firm, “Dean, that’s not a bad thing.”

            “Oh, I know,” Dean replies, “but given my track record with women, anything involving men is just… unknown. I have no idea what I’m doing, and there’s still a part of me that gets skeeved out thinking about even _liking_ a man. You know, it probably has something to do with my father-”

            “Dean,” Jody chides him.

            “Right, sorry,” he relents, “one problem at a time.”

            “This isn’t a problem,” Jody starts, hobbling a tad closer, “being in love… it’s a wonderful thing. The only problem _I_ see is with you.”

            Dean blinks, “Me?”

            “Yes, you,” Jody repeats, “you’re so afraid to give yourself over to another person you’d rather be alone than be hurt.”

            “So?” Dean asks, “Is that a bad thing? I think I’ve been hurt quite a lot for a guy in his late twenties.”

            “I’m not even gonna touch that last thing,” Jody starts, “but Dean, getting hurt is always one of the risks when it comes to love. There will always be a chance that the next day you spend with someone might be their last, but isn’t it better to let them know so you can appreciate what you have instead of adding another thing to regret?”

            Dean ponders this, rolls it around in his mind for a few seconds. He drops his head and closes his eyes, sucking in a cool breath of night air.

            “Maybe you’re right,” he relents, “but even if I tell him-who’s to say he’ll feel the same?”

            “Hey, he’s your crush,” Jody shrugs, “shouldn’t you have studied his habits in-between scribbling his name in the back of your notebook?”

            “Ha ha,” Dean deadpans, “but seriously, I wish I knew. I mean, I thought I knew…”

            Dean turns to look back at Jody, her nod encouraging him forward.

            “I mean, looking back it’s not surprising we started getting close: the pieces just fell together. We always orbited too close from the beginning. At every turn he chose me over his family and… I always felt like something-something special when he looked at me, even if I had felt like garbage moments before…”

            “And now?”

            Dean sighs, “Now… I can’t say what happened. He’s… off. Like I’m looking at him but I’m not even sure who’s looking back. His eyes seem colder… more calculating, like I’m a piece of meat just hanging in a freezer. And his touch-“

            Dean closes his eyes. “I used to feel safe, you know. Just from a simple gesture. It wouldn’t even take more than a slight brush of our fingers for me to feel like I was being wrapped in the largest of blankets by someone who cared about _me_ and only me. But now… the last time we were that close… I just felt an emptiness.”

            “And, and I don’t know what could have happened to cause that big of a change,” Dean gulps. He looks out into the darkness, eyes unfocused. “I started to think that maybe it was me, maybe I was reading too much into it. That now that I realized I want more everything he did just… wasn’t enough. That he didn’t… feel how I felt. Thaty maybe I got our relationship all wrong and I was just delusional. And then I get scared, that the minute I even hint at something more he might just disappear-he’s real good at that. And I would never want him to just up and go. Even if-if we never do anything big just… just having him as a friend might be good enough.”

            Jody’s lips turns down, “It doesn’t sound good enough.”

            Another dark chuckle escapes from Dean’s mouth. “This is why sometimes I wish I had a normal life,” he says, “could have grown up normal, without scars-physical or emotional. Have parents who could actually help me learn about life, what to do… what I really want and how to go about it.”

            It’s silent for a couple of minutes. Dean doesn’t know if he has anything left to say, the time and his thoughts having taken a toll on him. He can feel his eyelids start to droop. Thankfully Jody starts to speak.

            “It might be a little late,” she starts, “but I hope you still appreciate it. My advice would be to just tell him.”

            Dean opens his mouth, ready to fire a retort, but the tired yet stern glare keeps him quiet.

            “As I was saying,” Jody continues, “you should tell him how you really feel. If he feels the same, then congratulations, you have something to tell Sam. And if he doesn’t, you work through it. It’ll be hard, but the most important thing is that if he’s your friend, he won’t abandon you. He’ll appreciate your friendship no matter what, and maybe appreciate how much you care for him and what you think of him. If he laughs at you… well, call me and I’ll be sure to gank the idiot.”

            Dean smiles, “It’ll be hard… he’s an angel.”

            Jody shoots him a look. “An angel?” she asks, “Like with the wings and the halo?”

            Dean rocks his head, “Eh, some similarities but liberties were taken with the finished product. Granted when you meet Cas don’t use him as a benchmark, because all other angels will be severely lacking.”

            “Cas?” Jody smiles, “That’s got to be short for something, right?”

            “Yeah,” Dean nods, looking back out into the distance, eyes warmer than before, “Castiel. He’s been through hell, literally and figuratively, but all it did was give him… flavor. He’s kind, sweet, funny… but also smart and brave and so strong and-and I don’t know where any of us would be without him.”

            “You should remember that.”

            Dean looks back, eyebrows quirking up, “What for?”

            Jody’s eyes twinkle in the night, “That might be the perfect opening for when you confess your undying love.”

            Dean snorts, but keeps his words in the back of his mind in case the need for them arises.

            “Come on, Tiny Tim,” Dean steps back, “as much as I love late-night therapy sessions we should probably get some sleep.”

            “You’re lucky I’m incapacitated for the moment, Winchester,” Jody threatens, “or I’d beat you for that Tiny Tim line.”

            Dean picks up their bottles, “Whatever.”

            He enters first, holding the door open with his hip as she enters. Dean makes sure she gets to her room before continuing towards the kitchen. He stops just outside of it, when he sees the harsh light of the refrigerator and a shock of blonde hair.

            “Claire?” Dean squints, “what are you doing up?”

            The girl in question turns around, arms moving to her back. “Nothing,” she says, “just wanted a late night snack.”

            Dean doesn’t buy it. He places the empties on the closest surface before moving forward until he’s in front of the teenager. He fakes to the left while his other hand grabs for what’s behind her back from the right. Dean looks down at the bottle in his hand, then back up at the guilty teen.

            “Last time I checked, Coors wasn’t a midnight snack.”

            “I find that hard to believe,” Claire huffs, arms crossed.

            “Either grab a cookie or something like that or get to bed,” Dean tells her, “as long as you’re living under Jody’s roof I better not see you look at alcohol.”

            “Whatever, _dad_ ,” she snarks, eyes tumbling in her head. She closes the fridge and starts to stalk away.

            “Wait,” Dean stops her, “how did you know to look in the vegetable drawer?”

            “I just asked myself ‘Where would I put beer if I was Jody and I knew Dean was in my house’?”

            “Smart,” Dean snides, “get to bed. You have college to go to.”

            “I’m going,” Claire replies, making her way towards her own room.

            Dean shakes his head, smiling. He replaces the bottle to its original place before disposing of the other three he left behind. While he’s there he also makes sure that nothing else is out of the ordinary, before heading towards his guest room.

            He’s about to enter, when he turns slightly to the left to stare at Claire’s door. Suddenly, he gets a picture in his head. He sees a house down in Kansas, with a white picket fence and all the trimmings. Nights spent around an oak table, recounting their days around home-cooked food. The only monsters they fight are the regular battles of a normal family. A bedroom, one where he’d have hushed conversations that makes blue eyes crinkle and white teeth shine from behind soft, pink lips. Waking up with tan arms around him, scruff scratching at the back of his neck. Maybe he’d go to work, or maybe it’d be a weekend.

            Soon enough the American dream is over, and he twists the knob and pads softly back to his room.

            It doesn’t take long to fall asleep.

            But when he does, he isn’t alone. For in his dreams, Cas’s arms wrap tight around him.

            And he doesn’t let go.

**Author's Note:**

> You like? I hope it flowed together really well. Remember to leave kudos or comments if you really enjoyed it and want me to know!
> 
> Have a nice day!


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